Just Do It.
Sticky title, right?! Well, I am not here to talk about Colin Kaepernick, peaceful protesting, black lives matter, or any other political spin per se (don't worry - I will soon!) - but I do think there is a very valuable lesson to be learned from the controversial Nike campaign.
When is the last time you "just did" something? Can you recall a time where a fantastic-super-awesome idea popped into your head, you got really excited, and then just moments later you find yourself feeling reluctant, scared, and not sure of the outcome? Then before allowing enough time to talk yourself out of it - you just did it! Or maybe you didn't just do it - maybe all of the pressure, doubts and fears won out, and that fantastic idea turned into just another dream instead of what could have been your present reality.
How do we determine whether or not we are going to just do something? What are some of the ideas that cause us to be reluctant about a passion that is placed inside of us? I can only speak for myself, but the first negative notion that always pops into my head just when I get excited about doing something awesome is the FEAR OF FAILURE. Quite honestly, it isn't really failing itself that I am afraid of, but rather how I might be perceived after failure is what intimidates me the most. If I don't succeed, will people actually call me a failure? Will I now be considered a loser? Less than? Not capable? Not good enough?
I have been competitive for nearly my entire life - I legitimately may have been born that way. Me and my sister, who is older than me by just two years, did everything together. Academically she set the standard and I would try to meet it or beat it. We ran track together and I tried my best to be just as good or better. But even when we weren't competing, I still would find ways to create competition within myself. Once I set a standard of performance for myself, especially academically, I made it a rule to always meet that standard with no exceptions. With this mode of thinking I quickly got a grasp of my personal strengths and I was very confident in what I knew I could do. I know that I am smart and I know that I have strong leadership qualities, so naturally I am confident when pursuing those types of endeavors such as applying for academic scholarships, or for a top 10 PT program at the University of Miami for example.
At the same time, I also know I have a tendency to not feel so confident when dealing with people's perception of me, my looks, my personality, and my non-academic abilities. Contrary to popular belief, I struggled (still do sometimes) with low self esteem. The first time I recognized this fault of mine was as a senior in high school. I talked myself out of running for both Winter Formal Queen and Homecoming Queen because I could not stand the thought of what people would say about me if I didn't win. I couldn't stand the thought of being compared to other people and counted out as not good enough. But what would have been the outcome had I just did it? Why was the weight of other people's opinions so overwhelming for me? It was because I hadn't yet learned where my confidence should truly come from. At that time, everyone else's thoughts about me weighed more than what God said about me.
One of my favorite quotes goes like this: "If you never try, if you never ask, the answer will always be no." - Gayla Annette Harris (aka Mommy). My mom said this to me countless times before I left sunny Southern California to attend college at Georgia State University in Atlanta. I had no idea how much I would need her wise words to push me past my self inflicted limitations. There were so many opportunities that made my heart jump with passion, always followed immediately by a small voice in my head that would say, "You can't do that." What followed was a shadow of doubt causing me to come up with a list of reasons to justify why I couldn't do what my heart was telling me to do. The first opportunity that I couldn't ignore came while I was sitting at a Georgia State basketball game during the 3rd quarter watching the Pantherettes Dance Team perform their signature Christmas kick-line routine. I've always wanted to be professionally trained in dance, but for several reasons, I was unable to participate in any formal or technical training. As I watched them perform I said to myself "I can definitely see myself doing this routine, I should try out!" A fantastic idea; but of course, just moments later as the dancers changed their formation to perform a series of leaps and pirouettes, doubt settled in. Within the same minute I was already telling myself I couldn't do it. I was conflicted; my heart told me I had a shot if I would just give it a try, however, my fears and insecurities told me I did not have the training or experience to ever be chosen over veteran dancers in the tryouts.
I wrestled with my thoughts for days trying to decide whether I should or should not attend the auditions. After going back and forth, reaching out to friends who had participated in try outs before, and contacting one of the current dance team members to ask her a million questions, I finally made up in my mind that I was going to just do it. I immediately began stretching almost every day to make sure I could achieve left and right splits. I went on YouTube and watched countless videos about how to do a double pirouette. My mind was so made up that I would go to the student recreation center at night and on the weekends to practice pirouettes until I was too dizzy and too bruised up from falling to go on. On tryout day, I was nervous and very intimidated by the other dancers, most of whom had been dancing since they were toddlers. But I was already there, wearing a full face of make-up and my best dance outfit - a matching yoga shorts and sports bra set from American Eagle. I most certainly felt like I didn't belong. I made several mistakes, failed to land pirouettes, and suffered through memory blocks during the audition routine. So when the coaches called me out into the hall way to tell me I had made the cut, I was shocked! They told me I needed a lot of development with my dance technique, but that my athleticism and enthusiasm was enough for them to work with. For the next two years I lived out a dream that I had always had since I was a little girl. I learned and performed skills well beyond what I thought I was capable of. Had I not decided to just do it, I would have never known all of the talent that was stored up inside of me. My dreams would have stayed just that - a dream.
After experiencing that amazing feeling of overcoming fear and actually succeeding, I began to turn my fears into inspiration. Feeling fear and doubt rise up in me after being inspired to do something awesome, became an automatic indicator that I had to just do it. That feeling came when I wanted to apply to be a part of the 1913 Society at Georgia State University - one of the most prestigious student leadership organizations to this date. I felt that feeling when I wanted to study abroad in Spain for 5 weeks, and I felt it relentlessly when I wanted to run for Homecoming Queen. I got that feeling after I interviewed at the University of Miami for physical therapy school, and again when I decided to try out entrepreneurship through Herbalife and personal training. That feeling came when I got the idea to start this blog. But guess what - I just did it. All of it. I served in the 1913 Society for two years, I studied abroad in Spain and got to step foot on the motherland of Africa while I was there. I ran for Homecoming Queen against one of the most influential individuals at Georgia State, a prior Homecoming victor, and also one of my closest friends - I won. I aborted all of my preciously laid out plans to stay in Georgia for PT school and accepted a spot in a top 10 physical therapy program at the University of Miami. I quit 2 of my 3 jobs and earned money to help cover moving costs to Miami through the creativity of entrepreneurship. After two years of fear and doubt that no one would ever be interested in any of the ideas and topics that God put on my heart, I started this blog. And with each post at least one person reaches out to me saying that he/she has been inspired.
Although I experienced difficulty, frustration, and uncertainty at times, I don't know where I would be had I not found the confidence I needed to just do it. You see, the thing about living a "just do it" kind of lifestyle is that you have to learn to accept that there absolutely will be difficulty, frustration, and uncertainty. You won't always be 100% confident that things are going to work out the way you want them to. They actually may not work out the way you want them to at all. I am sure Colin Kaepernick did not plan on being shunned from playing his favorite sport in the NFL. Just doing it requires you to walk by faith and not by sight. You will have to trust in something other than yourself. As for me, I trust in Christ Jesus. Because through Him it is a fact that no matter the outcome I can be sure that everything I am experiencing, whether it feels good, bad or uncertain, is working out for my good. That is what has strengthened my confidence to listen to the tug and pull of my heart towards the things that I know I absolutely could not accomplish with my own effort. I have tested God in this area and He has never failed me. I haven't always been what I would call "successful" in everything that I have tried, but I have always learned valuable lessons. I have been able to experience constant growth and maturity, and by trusting God in my weaknesses I continue to disrupt my self-inflicted limitations and accomplish great things.
I hope that after reading a small bit of my life's testimony that you decide to just do it, whatever it may be! Recognize the source of your fear, put doubt in it's proper place (which is anywhere far away from you lol), and walk in true confidence that can only come from a relationship with the Most High God!
